


In a Land of Shadow

by Bragi151, LePeru (Nizah)



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (it's complicated), Captain America/Iron Man Reverse Bang 2015, Character Death, Dream Sequence, F/M, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Apocalypse, See Warnings in End Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:50:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4030756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bragi151/pseuds/Bragi151, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nizah/pseuds/LePeru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers has woken up in a post apocalyptic Earth with no memory of how he got there. Guided by the ghost of Tony Stark, Steve finds his way through the wasteland to try and fix his world, or at least stop other worlds from meeting a similar fate. At least, that's who he thinks is guiding him and what he thinks he's doing. Steve isn't quite sure himself. See End Notes for Warnings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In a Land of Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the extremely talented LePeru for all their hard work and all their help with the Italian (though any mistakes made are my own). Their artwork is amazing and can be found as a whole here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4030045, though pictures are still interspersed throughout the work. Also, if you're worried about the character death, please see the end note.

The first thing Steve was conscious of was his alarm clock going off. Steve thought, for a moment, that it was strange, as he almost always woke up before his alarm actually had a chance to go off. The serum had ensured he didn’t need as much sleep as an average human, and it was his tradition to not only go running in the morning, but also to beat his clock to the punch. The only times he failed to do so were usually the mornings after he had prevented the world from ending, which Steve usually gave himself to sleep in, even if he often forgot to turn his alarm clock off.

It was when Steve started to blink his eyes open that he realized something else was off. For starters, he felt almost as if he was standing. He was laying down, true, but at a very steep angle. And there was a tiny voice coming from outside of his hearing, which was also strange, as he almost never had to struggle to hear anything, after the serum. He blinked his eyes open further and almost jolted out of his precarious almost-standing-almost-reclining position.

Steve found himself staring out of a dusty pane of glass out into a deserted messy looking hallway that looked like it belonged in the basement of some sort of technical facility, all bleak concrete interrupted by rusted pipes, the only faded color coming from some worn wiring.

There was another bout of tiny noise coming from outside what appeared to be his own personal tube, and then a hissing sound and his ears popped before the pane of glass swung outwards.

Steve stumbled out of his tube, “Where… where am I?” Steve asked out loud, half hoping someone would hear, but still half fuzzy from just waking up out of whatever sort of sleep he had been in. His mind was still cloudy, even as he said, “What is this place?”

There was a blinking light just outside the tube, but he only just caught his name and a vaguely human shape as the panel powered down. In point of fact, now that the rest of his mind was coming back, he saw that the semi-transparent tubes that linked the back of the tube to the wall still barely glowed with a fading bright arc reactor blue. The color immediately put him in mind of Tony. It also probably meant his teammate had something to do with the tube he had woken up in. Steve hoped it would mean that Tony and the rest of the Avengers were on their way to greet him, but the fact that they weren’t already here, the corridor was dusty, and, Steve noticed as he looked down at himself, he was all but naked seemed to indicate he would be waiting quite a while if he left it to his friends to come and investigate. Not that he had ever been the type of person to wait around, in any case.

Steve slowly made his way out of the basement of whatever facility it was that he was in. There were, helpfully, signs everywhere. As he walked, Steve gradually regained most of his faculties. However, while he was physically gradually starting to get back up to snuff, he was finding his memory still a patchwork of half-finished recollections. He had no idea where he was, no memory of having gotten there, and no real memory that extended beyond what he believed to be a couple of weeks ago, laughing and joking as Bucky gradually acclimated to being on the Avengers.

Steve’s patchy memory was quickly forgotten, however, as he climbed the stairs and bashed the door open to the lobby. The lobby itself was intact, but filthy and covered with dust. It looked, to Steve, like an abandoned S.H.I.E.L.D. base, seeing the logo on the cold marble flooring. Potential S.H.I.E.L.D. involvement, however, was cast from Steve’s mind as he looked out of the lobby. Without knowing exactly how, Steve found his feet carrying him outside, looking up towards the skyline.

“Oh God!” Steve breathed out.

Steve was standing in New York. But it wasn’t the New York he remembered, not the one from the 1900s and certainly not the one from the 2000s. Steve stared at the ruined landscape around him, taking a moment to process it all.

However, before he could do more than barely take in the landscape, a voice called out from behind him, “Well, this is ridiculous!”

Steve’s chest tightened at the sound of that voice, “Tony!” Steve turned to see Tony wearing a dirty but plain t-shirt and jeans. “Thank God you’re alive! What’s happened to the city?”

Tony frowned for a moment, “Alive is arguable, as I distinctly remember dying.” Tony’s frown deepened as he brought a hand up in front of his face, “Is my body transparent?” Tony seemed to shrug his own question off a moment later, though Steve noticed that Tony was right, his body _was_ transparent. “As for the city…” Tony trailed off for a moment as he looked up at the same horizon Steve had been gazing at just a moment before. “Well, it seems we have lost the war.”

Steve was rocked for a moment, “War?”

Tony’s brow furrowed, “You don’t remember? Well, I suppose the cryogentic process did something to your memory after,” Tony tilted his head to the side, the same way he did whenever he was dissecting some new machine or concept, breaking it down into numbers and metal stresses and formulae, “well, after however long it’s been. Given the state of the city, though, it had to have been quite a while.”

And Steve had to agree with that. There were weeds growing up all over the city, buildings had fallen apart or caved in. It looked like the entire city had collapsed from the inside out. But he couldn’t tell if it was because of whatever war it was that Tony was talking about or just the rigors of time, something that Steve preferred not to think too long about.

“The war, Tony?” Steve asked, used to Tony’s particular brand of distraction.

Tony blinked, then nodded. Steve could practically see the gears rearrange themselves the same way the Iron Man armor did whenever they closed around Tony’s body. “I’m not sure how long ago it was, but S.H.I.E.L.D., under their new Director, Coulson, were experimenting with alien portal technology. Long story short, they opened a door somewhere they shouldn’t have and out comes everyone’s worst nightmares.” Steve shook his head, he couldn’t imagine Coulson condoning anything remotely like that, but still, apparently the evidence was all around him.

Tony seemed to pick up on his thoughts, “Needless to say, it was something done without Coulson’s express permission and approval. He put a bit too much work into growing the organization back up and, well, some scientists were desperate to prove they could do something worthwhile. Then, out come the Tenebrae and Coulson gets very angry very quickly.”

Steve was hoping for some flicker of recognition, some spark to be lit at the mention of facts that he should have, apparently, known, but there was nothing. Unwilling to be deterred, Steve plowed forward, “What about the cryo? Why did you put me in whatever that was?”

Tony crossed his arms, and the hairs on the back of Steve’s neck immediately prickled at the defensive stance Tony was taking up, “You were one of the first people on site when the Tenebrae first came out of the portal and started killing. The rest of the Avengers weren’t far behind, but it didn’t take us very long to find out that the most we could do was contain them, and we could barely do that. You ended up infected by a biological agent unlike anything Bruce or I had ever seen before and we were at a loss regarding what to do about it.”

Steve took a moment to absorb that, “But the Serum should have taken care of that, shouldn’t it have?”

Tony shrugged, and Steve did his best to focus on Tony’s eyes rather than the wasteland he could see through Tony’s shoulders, “We weren’t sure if it was because the biological contamination was extra,” Tony paused a moment, “dimensional in origin or not, but you’re right, the Serum _was_ having an effect, just not as much of one as everyone hoped.” Tony sighed, looking up to meet Steve’s gaze, “You were one of the lucky ones, though. Everyone else who was infected died within hours. We had enough time to get you into an experimental cryo chamber while we tried to come up with a treatment. We ended up using our best option on you before…” Tony trailed off, looking to the west.

“Before what, Tony?” Steve asked.

Tony shook his head, “What matters now is that you’re here, which means there still might be a chance. The Americas are long gone by now, but the rest of the planet might have a chance. Bruce and I put our heads together and poured over the notes of the idiots who opened the portal in the first place. We were pretty sure that shutting down the portal would cut off these things entirely. They weren’t really meant to be here, and they can’t stay here without some sort of connection to their original dimension. So…”

“Cut off the portal and we cut them off from what’s keeping them here,” Steve finished. “Does that mean they’ll all go back to where they came from? Will they wither up and die?”

Tony shrugged, and Steve stayed resolutely fixed on the color of Tony’s eyes rather than the shape of the building he could almost see past Tony’s eyes, “I don’t really know, but at this point, I think anything’s better than,” Tony looked around at the mess, “well, all of this, really.”

Steve nodded. He was grateful to have a mission, to have something to do. Steve knew that if he had just woken up, by himself, alone in a wasteland with everyone he knew-

 _Don’t think about it_.

Steve shook himself, “Alright, so apparently you’ve got the mission, Tony. Where are we heading?”

Tony arched an eyebrow and Steve could have sworn he floated off the ground for a moment, “California, of course.”

* * *

 

Steve, honestly, did not expect running through the Midwest to mirror his time in the European Theater, not at all. But, strangely, that was exactly what it felt like. According to Tony, Steve needed to avoid major roads and population centers both for the fact that, while most of the Tenebrae were off doing Lord only knew, they were still patrolling major thoroughfares, as well as the fact that the only real food for Steve to eat was whatever he had managed to hunt for himself. Which meant he had gotten rather proficient at killing and skinning deer.

“Why haven’t all of the wildlife died out because of the virus?” Steve asked one night after they’d made camp. Tony always went out ahead of him to scout out the terrain, but never failed to come back and take the night watch. He insisted that Steve never fall asleep until he was there, actually.

Tony shrugged, “Bruce theorized it had something to do with our brains. It could be that it only targets sapient beings with some biological mechanism neither Bruce nor I could uncover. I mean, it wasn’t like we had a lot of time to think about it. Most of the time, we were too busy trying to find a cure and trying to stop the end of the world.” Tony looked at the small town they were camped in, mostly reclaimed by nature in the time Steve had been asleep, however long that had been.

_Don’t think about it._

Steve shook himself and took another bite of venison. However much time had passed, it was apparently enough for the wildlife to get used to humans not being a factor any longer. The deer he had butchered to get his most recent meal had just cocked its head in curiosity as he crept up near to it before jumping on top of it and breaking his neck. Both he and Tony had been on the lookout for any weapons he might have been able to use, but according to Tony, Steve’s shield was in California, along with most of the Avengers equipment. They had moved their base there to try and combat the spread of the Tenebrae only to find themselves outmatched rather quickly, according to Tony.

Steve had pestered Tony for further detail several times over the course of their trip so far, but every time he had, Tony merely deflected the subject into oblivion. Steve supposed Tony might be a bit touchy about it all, too, and let it drop for the moment, but Steve wanted to fill the patches in his memory that, Tony had told him, he probably wasn’t going to be able to get back.

“So, how does Bambi taste?” Tony’s voice snapped Steve back to the present. Tony was staring somewhat longingly at the venison skewer in his hand. Not that Steve could blame him. It was delicious.

“Would you like to try a bite?” Steve asked, his mouth quirking up to the side before he took another large bite, exaggerating his chews as much as possible. He even let a little bit of the juice drip down the sides of his mouth before licking it up.

Tony gave him the stink eye in return, “That’s just cruel. Here I am, I can’t even touch the food, much less taste it, and you’re engaging in serious food porn. This is just wrong. If America were still around, she would be disappointed in you.”

Steve stiffened at the mention of America. To be fair to Tony, he looked immediately contrite, snapping his jaw shut. Steve shook his head, though, pushing forward, “Do you think there might have been any survivors? Some colony of people who might be rebuilding?”

Tony looked around them, scratching the back of his head, “I woke up the same time you did, remember? I don’t have any more answers here than you do.”

“But you must have, I don’t know, a theory? Speculation? Come on, Tony, give me _something,_ ” Steve pressed.

Their eyes locked and Tony held Steve’s gaze for a long, charged moment before looking away, “I have no idea why I’m still around, but you, Steve, well, that’s a different story. The chamber was only set to automatically revive you if there was some sort of critical power failure. The power source for that thing was completely independent, too, and one of my newer arc reactors. The only thing it would have had to power would have been the cryo module. If you’re out and about, it’s because it ran out of power, and if it ran out of power…” Tony trailed off.

“Then it’s been a while,” Steve finished.

Tony nodded, “I can’t say for sure how long. Bruce and I didn’t want to let you out until we were sure that you were all clear, and we had no idea how long that would take. So we did the best we could, packed you off for New York, and made sure you were deep enough underground and far enough down that nothing would touch you unless we wanted it to.” Tony’s voice grew soft, “I guess we did that right, at least.”

“Give me a guess at least, Tony. How long was I in there?” How long had he been safe, tucked away underground by his team? How long had things spiraled out of control while he had been taking a nap? _How long_ had he been-

_Don’t think about it._

“Are you sure you want the answer to that, Steve?” Tony’s eyes were intense, and this time, it was Steve who looked away.

That didn’t change his answer, though, “Yes.”

There was a long moment of silence, “If you had maxed out every life support function of the machine, along with everything else, maybe a hundred and fifty years, minimum. But seeing how healthy you are, it’d probably be more like two hundred.”

“And what about the maximum?” Steve couldn’t help it. He kept wondering how many had died, how many he could have saved. What was the point of the serum, of him being Captain America, if he couldn’t prevent these types of disasters? Wasn’t that what he was for?

_Don’t think about it._

“I’m not going to help you torture yourself, Steve,” Tony said, not unkindly. “What happened wasn’t your fault. You getting infected by the virus wasn’t your fault. The people who died, the time you spent in cryo, none of it was your fault. If you want someone to blame for the deaths of all those people, blame the Tenebrae. If you want to blame the Tenebrae on someone, blame the idiots who thought they could impress Coulson,” Tony was kneeling in front of him now, his hands around Steve’s face, and for a moment, it was almost as if Steve could feel those well calloused hands, so different from how he thought the hands of a billionaire with a desk job would be. “And, if you want someone to blame the cryo on, blame it on me. You were out cold, and the team asked me to make the decision, so I made it. I won’t apologize for putting you in cryo, but I will apologize for what it’s putting you through.” Tony looked down, “I was kind of looking forward to bringing you out of it, once you were all clear. I guess that didn’t work out as planned.”

Steve let Tony’s words wash over him for a moment, so much kinder and insightful than he had expected from Tony. Not, however, because Tony wasn’t kind, but rather because Tony didn’t usually know how to express kindness. Steve shook himself and stood up, moving away from the warm hands and understanding eyes, “I don’t blame you, Tony.”

Tony just shrugged, “I think it’s time for all good little super soldiers to be asleep, we still have half of America to cross.” Steve rolled his eyes, but laid himself down in the small sleeping bag they had managed to scrounge up. With the skill of any seasoned soldier, Steve quickly drifted off to deep blessedly dreamless sleep.

* * *

 

One of the things that was wrong with Tony going ahead to scout for him was that, sometimes, Steve had all of his thoughts to himself. It was during the long march through the wilderness that had come to inhabit the spaces where people had once flourished that Steve found his mind drifting towards more uncomfortable realities that Tony’s presence usually held at bay.

His biggest demon at this point was that he was alone again, save for Tony. Time had moved on without him. Again. Here he was, in the future, and everyone was dead. The kicker wasn’t just that it was everyone he loved, everyone he knew, and everyone he cared for, it was that _everyone_ was dead. Though, Steve supposed, he still had Tony. Though, even Tony was trapped in some inexplicable half-life that neither Steve nor Tony seemed too intent on parsing apart. In that sense, Tony was as dead as everyone else, he just got to stick along for the ride with Steve.

A part of Steve wondered, idly, if Tony wasn’t some figment of his imagination. That he had finally cracked under the realization he was alone again and had dredged up a familiar face to give himself something to live for. Steve supposed it made sense for him to generate the handsome unobtainable genius he had been, admittedly, lusting after. Steve was man enough to admit it to himself when he had it bad for someone, even if that someone was a man, and even if that someone happened to be taken.

It was just that this whole thing smacked of some sort of wish fulfillment fantasy. After all, wasn’t it too convenient that Tony comes back as a ghost just as Steve discovers he’s alone in some sort of post-humanity wasteland? Wasn’t it too convenient that this ghost had some sort of mission that was everything that Steve needed to keep his mind off of the fact that _everyone_ was **dead**.

_Don’t think about it._

And then there was that. Steve was no longer sure if it was him trying to keep the dark thoughts at bay, or if it was something in his head trying to do it for him. That thought, in and if itself, was probably enough to get him committed to a mental hospital.

Steve was just so _tired_. Just thinking about all of it, everything he had lost, how it made him feel, Tony being with him in some weird way that Steve just couldn’t trust, made him want to lay his head down, wrap himself into a ball and fall asleep. Under any other set of circumstances, that is exactly what Steve probably would have ended up doing.

However, the chance that Tony was real, wasn’t some sort of desire induced figment of his imagination brought on by a psychotic break, was enough for Steve. Certainly, part of it was the mission that Tony had oh so kindly provided to him, but a big part of what kept him going every day was Tony’s endless chatter, warm smiles, and those phantom touches that Tony seemed to need as much as Steve.

After all, it was kind of late for Steve to try and save the world. Steve almost laughed to himself as he took in the rugged landscape around him, dotted with the occasional decrepit and overgrown sign of civilization. Steve would have liked to say that it was the notion of saving the world, of aiding his fellow man, that still kept him going through everything, but it wasn’t. He knew that Tony, or his psyche masquerading as Tony, was dangling the possibility of people in some far flung reaches of the world surviving in front of him as incentive to keep on going. He also knew how to tell when Tony was lying to him, whether it be about the risk to himself in the field, or the potential for humanity coming back from the ashes of its own demise.

On the other hand, Steve felt closer to Tony than he ever had before. Maybe it was just because there was no one else around, but Steve often felt the pressure of Tony’s eyes in a way that he hadn’t back when everything was normal. Now, Steve could almost swear he could feel where Tony was at times, how far ahead he was scouting, when he was coming back, everything. Steve wasn’t sure if he should put that as a tally in the “Tony is a real ghost” column or “Tony is actually some sort of wish-fulfillment fantasy” column.

Any which way, this all led to the other problem Steve had whenever Tony went off to scout for him, which was that he was lonely. Steve knew, in his mind, that it was a relatively strange and silly reaction to be having. After all, Steve had a monopoly on Tony now. There were no more calls from Rhodey that Tony would drop absolutely everything to take. There were no more dinner or lunch dates with Pepper. There were no more bouts of inspiration that had Tony and Bruce locking themselves together in a lab for countless hours. Just the two of them, Steve and Tony. Still, Steve couldn’t help but feel lonely without Tony with him. It was worse now, even, than it had been before this whole debacle. Before, it had just been a low level but constant desire, pining for someone Steve knew he couldn’t have. Now, it felt more like his anchor was missing, that he was unmoored and that he was just sort of drifting in the time it took for Tony to come back. Steve tried to attribute most of his feeling this way to the fact that Tony was literally all Steve had left. Missing Tony seemed to help drown out the pain at loosing everyone else again, at least.

“Thinking deep thoughts?” Tony asked, as if the thoughts about him had summoned him.

Steve shrugged, unwilling to divulge just how lost he had been feeling to Tony. “Do you know how close we are to California, now?”

Tony nodded, “I’m surprised, actually. We’re already to the Rockies. We’ve made really good time. We’re going to have to be more cautious once we cross the mountains, though. The Tenebrae were holding California tighter than the Devil held Hell, before everything went south, and I don’t imagine they’ve let up since.”

Steve nodded, “Were you able to gather any intel about them?”

Tony nodded, leading Steve slightly further until they reached a small secluded grove that looked like the perfect spot to make camp. Steve still had some smoked deer in his pack, along with some other wild vegetables he had been able to forage along the way. “At first, it didn’t really look like they had any sort of overriding intelligence. They had, as creepy as this sounds, a sort of understanding of what was going on with all their partners, sure, but no sort of central directive. We had assumed, initially, that they possessed some sort of hive mind without a guiding genius. It didn’t take us long, though, to change our assessment.”

Steve frowned, setting up camp and pulling out supplies as Tony spoke, “What changed your minds?”

Tony sighed, “We were doing fine, for a while. They were pouring through the rift, but even with the virus infecting everyone, the portal was enough of a bottle-neck that we thought we could keep them contained. But then they started to be more than just aware of what was going on with other Tenebrae miles away. They started coordinating. Full-fledged assaults out of the portal timed way too perfectly with assaults by rogue Tenebrae on Earth, stuff like that. We were forced to conclude there was someone, or, dare I say it, something giving them instructions.”

Steve finished setting up the camp in the silence that followed the revelation. Hive mind? Guiding intelligence? Why had Tony waited until just now to give him this information? Was he afraid of Steve backing out? Or, worse, was it his own mind playing tricks on him, adding to its narrative as it went along, doing its best to keep Steve involved in whatever illusionary story it had already woven?

Steve just sighed, and Tony put up his hands in defense, almost as if sensing what was coming, “I know I should have told you earlier, and I’m sorry for waiting so long. It’s just, you were doing so well, and I was worried it was more than you would be able to process all at once.”

Steve arched an eyebrow at Tony, “And there aren’t any other secrets you’ve been keeping to yourself?”

Tony scratched the back of his head.

Steve stared.

Tony fidgeted, bobbing up and down in the air.

Steve stared.

Finally, Tony broke, “Alright with the puppy dog eyes, already. Bruce and I, towards the end, discovered something interesting about the portal.”

Steve waited for the rest, and then arched an eyebrow at Tony when he let the silence drag on too long, “Well, don’t keep me here in suspense.”

Tony smiled, but still looked chastised, “Just trying to think about how to keep it in simple speech, mon capitan.” Tony waited for a moment longer before continuing, “The portal wasn’t just a rip in space, it was a rip in _time_.”

Steve blinked, “So, these Tenebrae things, they could be from some other time?”

Tony put out one of his hands and made a seesaw motion, “More like, they’re from sort of place that doesn’t obey the same laws of space or time as us. At first we thought it was some sort of dimensional rift, due to the time component, but it was even stranger than we thought. We never actually figured out exactly where it went, I’m betting the poor saps who opened it had no idea either, but Bruce and I were both sure that where it was leading wasn’t anywhere we would normally consider a part of our, or any other, universe.” Tony spread his hands out, “If you want to get really metaphysical about it, they might not even be a part of our multiverse, if the theory holds up.”

Steve blinked and then waved his hand, “This all sounds terribly interesting, Tony, but I don’t see what it has to-”

Tony shook his head, “Sorry, was getting to that.” He interrupted, “Long complicated and scientific story short, shutting down the portal would have a very definite impact, not only in the here and now, but throughout _time_ as well as space.”

Steve tried to digest that for a moment, “You’re saying that if we close the portal here, now, tomorrow, the next day, we might be closing it when it first opened?”

Tony’s face scrunched up, “Not _exactly_ like that, but, in terms of practical effect, it would certainly look like that. I mean, there’s the whole time space paradox thing to get over, but Bruce and I were kind of busy with other things, too, so we couldn’t exactly investigate everything about the portal at the time.”

Tony turned around as soon as he had finished speak, cocking his head as if he heard something “Anyway, I’m going to go scout the area for a bit to make sure everything’s safe here. Don’t fall asleep till I get back, yeah?”

Steve didn’t even get a chance to roll his eyes before Tony was gone.

* * *

 

“Wake up, Steve, it’s time for breakfast.”

_Wake up._

Steve smiled, “Should I be worried? You’re a terrible cook.”

“Hush now and get out of bed, you big lug.”

Steve chuckled, but did as he was told, sitting up with a stretch and a yawn. Steve found himself being kissed as he yawned, and laughed into the mouth that covered his.

“My, aren’t we looking to be in fine form this morning?”

Steve blushed but rolled out of bed, totally naked, and completely heedless of it. They had been together long enough that it wasn’t an issue any longer, playful teasing and come-ons aside.

He heard pleasant humming from the kitchen as he got dressed and braced himself for whatever it was that was on the dining room table. He sat himself down and dove into the assortment of breakfast foods that were placed in front of him, forcing himself to smile as he swallowed down soggy toast, bitter pancakes, runny eggs, and too blackened bacon.

“I do hope you’ve gotten everything ready for later today. Bucky and all the rest of your friends will be over to congratulate us, and I don’t want them eating us, or drinking us, out of house and home.”

Steve forced himself to swallow, “I’ve got everything taken care of. What do you think they’ll be bringing?”

The doorbell rang, and Steve got up to get the door. “Don’t think you’re getting out of eating the rest of your breakfast, Steven!”

“Yes, dear!” Steve laughed as he walked over to the door.

Steve opened it and smiled at the faces he saw assembled there. He waved them all in with a hello. However, as his slew of friends, family really, paraded past and into his home, Steve frowned. Was someone missing?

“Steve?”

 _Steve_.

Steve blinked, “Just wondering if we’re missing someone.”

“Don’t be silly! Everyone’s over here! You’re the only one missing.”

Steve went over to the living room and sat down, and suddenly, it was like everyone had come into focus. There was Natasha, gently setting down what was a probably lethal present. Bruce smiling and leaning softly into Natasha’s side, setting his present gently down next to hers. Clint beaming at a present shaped very much like a bow. Sam settling down on a couch and just absorbing everyone’s chatter. Bucky leaning against a wall, arms crossed, cocky smirk on display as he took everyone in. Thor laughing boisterously as he set down some fancy gilded chest. Wanda waving her hand as her present drifted quietly onto an empty spot on the table. Vision being scrupulously careful as he placed his own meticulously wrapped present down. The Commandoes were all there too, though they had all, rather predictably, brought some form of alcohol as their gifts.

Dum Dum Dugan was still giving Natasha the type of side eye he always gave the dangerous, but pretty, dames. Jim Morita was talking with Montgomery Falsworth and Jacques Dernier with Bucky, over in the corner. Even Gabriel was on the couch next to Sam, starting up a conversation with the VA worker.

They all smiled when they saw him come over, “Steve!”

_Steve!_

Steve didn’t think he had ever felt so happy, everyone with him together in one place, safe, sound, laughing. It made some deep ache inside him, an ache Steve didn’t remember having, ease around his heart. But there was something missing. He sat on the sofa.

“Are we sure this is everyone, I could have sworn-”

“That’s my Steven, always worrying. Everyone’s here, dear, aren’t we?”

Everyone smiled at him.

“No, not quite everyone.” Steve blinked and stood up, turning around as he did so.

“Tony!” Steve felt that ache in him loosen again, at seeing Tony there with them. Though something else in him felt sad, at the sight of his friend. He pushed the sadness aside and went over to give Tony a hug. “You made it just in time, Tony, come sit down with me.” After a moment, Tony pulled gently away from Steve, looking at Steve as if something terrible had happened, but he left his hands gripping Steve’s shoulders.

 “You need to wake up, Steve.” Tony said.

_Wake up!_

Steve’s brow furrowed, “I just woke up. Tony, what are you talking about?”

“Did Anthony bring a gift?”

Steve smiled again, “Yeah, Mr. Billionaire, what did you bring?”

A shadow passed over Tony’s face for a moment, “Steve, this is a dream. You need to wake up.” Steve looked into Tony’s eyes, about to contradict him, but Tony bulled onward, “Don’t you remember going cross country with me? Waking up from cryo? The Tenebrae?”

The words pinged around Steve’s head, knocking things loose, causing the room to spin.

“We don’t use language like that in this house.”

The room started to become clearer, but Steve was still tilting, falling forward into Tony’s arms. He heard everyone else get up, “Steve, are you alright?” Bucky asked.

Tony’s face was unreadable, “You’re all dead.”

“Tony!” Steve shouted, appalled that he had just told his friends that they were _dead_. Steve turned around to apologize for Tony, only everyone had apparently collapsed onto the floor, looking back up at Steve with sightless glassy eyes.

Steve jumped backwards, but Tony caught him, “It’s a dream, Steve. You need to wake up.”

“Now, Anthony, look at the mess you’ve made. How are you planning on making this up to me?”

Tony gently situated himself in front of Steve, blocking Steve’s view of his dead friends, “You are not Aunt Peggy.”

“Of course I am, dear!” Peggy moved her hand to her swollen belly. “Aunt Peggy, Uncle Steve, and a little baby to be your play mate. Isn’t it all perfect, Anthony?”

Steve nodded, looking down at the small boy standing in front of him, “That’s right, Tony.” Steve knelt down and picked Tony up, holding the wonderful little boy in his arms, despite the fact Tony squirmed and writhed like a cat dunked in water.

It was just Peggy and Tony and him now. Everyone else had gone home. That’s right. Howard had dropped Tony off, along with his gift for the baby shower, with Steve because he couldn’t be bothered to take care of the boy. Steve loved taking care of Tony, he just wished Howard could be a better father.

Tiny hands came up to cup Steve’s cheeks, “Steve! This is a dream! None of this is real! You never even met me as a kid! You were in the ice! You think Howard’s great, remember?” Tony’s voice was strong, but sounded somehow strange. Different than it should be.

_Wake up!_

Steve tilted again, his head going fuzzy. Tony was suddenly full sized again, holding him. “Dear, why don’t you come hold the baby while I talk to Anthony?” Peggy said.

Steve looked up at his wife, and his child. She was holding a baby in her arms. His baby.

“Steve, what’s your baby’s gender?” Tony asked.

_Wake up!_

Steve opened his mouth. Closed it. “I-”

“What’s your baby’s _name_ , Steve?”

Steve started shaking. His head hurt.

“Damn it, Steve.” Tony said softly before bringing his lips to Steve’s.

 _I love you_.

* * *

 

Steve startled awake with a gasp. He heard a clicking noise, and looked up to see some giant sort of bug looking down on him. Steve planted both of his feet on its underside and kicked as hard as he could. The thing flew off of him, taking what was left of the already destroyed tent with it.

Steve leaned back, putting his hands on the ground beside his head before flipping to his feet, charging directly at the creature. Before it had a chance to right itself Steve moved in and slammed his boot down onto the head of the creature. It made a satisfying crunch and the creature stilled.

“Impressive.”

Steve swung around to be met with Tony’s amused gaze. Steve breathed out of his mouth slowly, “You scared me there for a second.”

Tony’s eyes turned hard, “Not as much as you scared me.”

Steve scratched the back of his head, “I dozed off. I didn’t know that would happen, did you?”

Tony shook his head, “I didn’t, but imagine my surprise when I found you with that thing hanging over you and you completely dead to the world. What happened to waiting until I got back to take watch, huh? I thought you were Mr. By-The-Book?”

“Well there isn’t a book anymore. There isn’t _anything_ anymore.” Steve shouted.

Tony froze or a second, then his shoulders slumped and he approached Steve slowly, his hands raised, “Look, Steve, sorry I snapped, I just-”

Steve shook his head and backed away from Tony, “Was what…were you really there? In whatever that was?”

Tony nodded his head, but didn’t approach Steve further, “Yes, I was.”

“And you…” Steve trailed off, not able to put it into words. He had had to deal with that Tenebrae right after, but just thinking back on the kiss, on the pressure on his lips, on the gentle scratch of beard on his chin, made his face heat up. Made him feel sick because he could never really have that with Tony, because he could never have that with anyone again.

Steve took a shuddering breath and turned towards the carcass of the Tenebrae. The camp was still lit by the dying embers of the fire which Steve had forgotten to put out before he had dosed off. It was what had probably attracted the Tenebrae. The firelight seemed to almost slide off of the creature’s hide, which was an almost purple color. Its head was completely crushed, and had started oozing black liquid. Below where its head was, two long tentacle like appendages wormed their way out of its body, both of them ending in what looked like small mouths.

“We shouldn’t stay here,” Tony said, startling Steve again. “They’ll have felt that one die and others will come and investigate. We need to get out of here.”

Steve nodded, quickly packing up what he could before putting his complicated feelings for and about Tony aside and following his friend into the night.

* * *

 

Steve and Tony managed to get through the Rockies with no incidents. Things had gradually shifted back to normal between Steve and Tony, though neither of them talked about that night again. Steve hadn’t been able to get that image out of his head, though, of all of his friends, lifeless on the ground, eyes staring at nothing. But, strangely, those images had yet to invade his dreams, though they plagued his waking mind. It was worse still because the small voice in the back of his mind that had done its best to constantly distract him from such thoughts had gone silent. Steve wasn’t sure if he was glad at the sign of recovery, or if he wanted it back, if only so he didn’t have to think about the dead bodies of his friends.

Instead, all Steve managed to dream about was Tony. He dreamed of them taking romantic walks, going on dates and falling into bed afterwards, of waking up beside the love of his life. It was a pity, though, that he always woke up before the good parts. Steve often found himself wishing those dreams would never end. He had even started pushing himself harder during their travels so he could fall asleep that much faster, and stay asleep that much longer.

Steve was never sure if it was actually Tony in his dreams, or if he was simply dreaming of Tony. He wasn’t sure how Tony had even managed to get into his dream in the first place, or if that entire episode had been something other than a dream. It had certainly been a nightmare, if nothing else. But Steve wasn’t about to question his good fortune. Steve was more than willing to take dreams of Tony over the other potential possibility.

They made good time to Los Angeles, though, which was were the portal device was supposed to have been kept. However, Steve was not prepared for the sight that greeted him upon reaching the city proper. Unlike other cities and towns that they had passed by or through, the buildings here seemed to be changing instead of crumbling. Rather than being reclaimed by nature, they had started to take on an almost organic look, and their color more closely resembled the light-evasive purple that Steve remembered from the carcass of the Tenebrae he had killed.

“I guess they did some redecorating,” Steve quipped.

Tony nodded, but said nothing. He had been growing more and more subdued the closer to the city they had gotten. Steve was wondering if Tony was reliving the moments of his own death, and the deaths of the team. He couldn’t help but wonder if it would have made a difference if he had been there. Steve clenched his fists at the thought that this might have been prevented, all of this, if he had still been around to help.

Steve frowned at the dark clouds gathering over the horizon. It looked like it was going to rain, and smelled like it to. Steve knew it probably wouldn’t matter to Tony, but he at least wanted to get indoors before the storm hit. “Let’s hole up in one of these buildings and come up with a plan to get to this portal machine. We can go after it in the morning. It doesn’t look like they’re patrolling this city very well,” Steve said, gesturing towards some skyscrapers that looked relatively unaffected by the change that had been coming over the city.

Tony’s brow furrowed, “I don’t think it’s a good idea, but I don’t really have any better ideas, so let’s go.”

Tony continued to act disconcerted, but it was when they got into the lobby of the cleanest looking skyscraper, however, that Tony suddenly turned on Steve, “Let’s find a different building, Steve.”

Steve frowned, “Why not this one?”

Tony shook his head, “Please, Steve, any building but this one, alright? Will you just trust me on this? Please?”

Steve’s frown deepened and he shook his head, “Why do you want to keep me out of this building, Tony? You’ve been acting shifty ever since we started getting near the city.”

Tony looked away, “Please, Steve. Trust me. You don’t want to be in this building.”

Something suddenly clicked for Steve, “It was here, wasn’t it?”

Tony shook his head.

“You, all of you, died here.” Steve barely registered the sound of his own voice.

“I didn’t recognize the building until we got inside it. I never would have agreed to coming in here if I had known. Please, Steve. Don’t do this to yourself. Let’s just find another camp for the night.” Tony’s voice was raw, but Steve couldn’t register anything other than the fact that his friends were in this building. They had died here. Steve was standing in their tomb.

“Steve! Steve wait!” Tony’s voice called out to him, loud but still weak with a tumble of emotion.

Steve didn’t listen. He walked down the stairs, knowing without knowing how he knew that he was supposed to go down. There was something in his mind. He turned a corner.

It was almost a memory. The Avengers standing over a table, everyone looking grim and worn. He could see Bruce’s eyes as he looked down at a map, dark purple covering most of the globe. He could see Wanda, leaning against a wall, her eyes closed, but tears streaming down her face. He could see Vision standing beside her, staring towards the door, his body stiff and his fists clenched. He could see Natasha, sharpening her knives in a corner, her soft strong face marred by a type of sorrow he had never seen in her before. He could see Clint, squatting next to Natasha, head leaning against the wall, eyes closed. He could see Sam sitting against the opposite wall, head buried in folded arms placed over knees pulled up to his chest, closed off from everyone. He could see Thor, standing at the entrance to the room, his usually bright face dark with pain. He could see Bucky, standing beside Bruce and Rhodey, taking in the map, grim inevitability written all over his face.

The half-memory faded and Steve dropped to his knees as he took in the skeletons that littered the floor of the room he had walked into. The same one from his vision. Vision’s body seemed to have almost shrunk in on itself, and the gem from his forehead was gone. Rhodey’s armor was there, shut off and rusted, faceplate closed. One of the actual skeletons laid near a metal arm. One of them had a metallic backpack, another a quiver. One of them clutched a hammer. _The_ hammer. They were all facing the door.

He heard something drip onto the floor below him and looked down. There was a small circle of wetness on the ground. Steve reached up to touch his cheeks and his fingers came away wet. He bowed forward until he was on his elbows and knees, trying to keep the rest of his tears from falling. He felt something warm settle against his shoulders and knew, again without knowing how he knew, that it was Tony, wrapping himself around him as best he could.

Steve heard the boom of thunder, reminding him of Thor. Steve let the tears fall from his eyes just as the rain poured from the skies.

* * *

 

Steve had regained himself by the next morning. He knew, now, that if there was a chance that he could send things back to the way they were, if there were some way he could bring everyone back, he would take it in a heartbeat. He didn’t care, any longer, if the Tony that hovered around him with sad worried eyes were real or a figment of his imagination, or if his mission and these Tenebrae were the same. All he wanted was to put things right, and Steve would believe in the reality that would let him make that happen.

Tony brought Steve to the building where it had all began. Apparently it had been an old business building of Tony’s before he had sold it to S.H.I.E.L.D. under Coulson as a research facility for an exceedingly generous price, given how financially strained Coulson’s nascent organization had been. Tony had told Steve, however, that neither Coulson nor the scientists he had set up there had had much money to spare on redecorating the old building, and thus much was as it had been before Coulson had taken over, not taking any changes the Tenebrae had made into consideration.

Tony had given Steve everything he needed to know about the layout of the building where the portal generator was kept, about what he had to look out for, and about how the Tenebrae detected intruders. They hadn’t seen any of the creatures patrolling the city, which confused the both of them, but they wanted to be cautious anyway. It would be difficult, completing the mission without his shield, but he would find a way.

“Alright,” Tony said, “the building looks mostly clear, which is really strange. They must be pretty confident since there aren’t any more humans around, or so they think.” Tony smiled as he looked at Steve. “You remember where the main lab is?”

Steve nodded, “Third floor, big room in the center. I’ve got it, Tony. Keep an eye on the entrance and come to get me if any more of the Tenebrae show up.”

Tony nodded, “Good luck, Steve.”

Steve approached the door, or what had been the door. Steve didn’t touch it, but it opened when he neared, as if sensing his presence. It gave off heat as he passed through, into the building. Much like the exterior of the building, it looked as if the inside had gradually morphed into a form better suited to the Tenebrae. The floor beneath his feet had a slight give to it, and looked to be made of the same opaque purple substance as the walls and door had. Steve quickly made his way towards the stairs, only, instead of stairs and a hallway, the door led to a giant winding ramp upwards, and the walls were all curved and circular, as if he were in a tunnel dug by some sort of giant insect, which, Steve supposed, he was.

Steve quickly made his way to the third floor, almost bouncing along as he ran, the floor springing up against him every time he put his foot down soundlessly. However, when he reached the door, it did not iris open as the others had.

Steve felt apprehension shoot up his spine, but reached forward to touch the door, hopeful that it would prompt it to open for him as the others had. Instead, just before he reached the door, it opened of its own accord, spilling out bright yellow light. A giant figure was silhouetted by the bright light, and Steve took an instinctive step back only to be met with the same types of appendages he had seen on the Tenebrae curling gently around him.

“What have we here?” The voice was deep and resonant, but also high and sweet. It sounded like a chorus of chitters and tweets all at once. A face leaned forward out the door, one of the other appendages coming up to stroke Steve’s cheek. Steve, however, was frozen in horror at the sight in front of him. The face was almost human. Compared to the rest of the body, which more closely resembled the Tenebrae he had killed, the face was covered in soft tan skin. The thing’s cheeks were unusually sharp and sunken, but were still framed by obviously well cared for brown hair, that fell down the sides in ringlets. It was the eyes, though, that gave the thing away. There were two, about where human eyes should be, but spaced farther away from the center of the face than any humans Steve had ever seen. The center of its face was dominated by an arched nose, flared out nostrils slightly too large for a humans. It’s forehead, though, contained two more eyes, centered just above the nose. All four of the eyes glowed with a lambent yellow light that made Steve sick to look at it.

Steve tried to move back the way he came, run down the hall and to Tony so they could come up with a plan to get around this sick parody of a human being, but found that his legs would not listen to him. “Ah, I see now. Why don’t you come in, dear?” The voice spoke the English well, but with a cant that Steve could almost recognize. And, despite his desires otherwise, his legs moved to the creature’s command, jerkily bringing him into the room as the creature scuttled backwards.

As it turned, Steve could see delicate and elaborate golden-green patterns scroll down the sides of its back. They glowed with light, and seemed to squirm up and down the thing’s body, making Steve feel sick until he looked away. The thing backed up next to some large green grape like spheres, its insectoid legs soundlessly carrying it backwards even as it smiled at Steve.

It settled down, lowering its torso to the ground, gesturing for Steve to do the same with the appendage that was not still resting on his cheek. “I’m sorry I can’t greet you properly, Steven, but the children need constant observation.” It turned to him with a conspiratorial smile, “You know how the little ones can be.” One of its tentacle like appendages gently stroked the green spheres, and Steve’s eyes widened as he realized what they were. Eggs. There were a dozen of the green little spheres in this room alone. How many more were there in the other parts of the building? In the other buildings that looked to be converted by the Tenebrae?

“Mio piccolo tesoro will have sent you in here, thinking you could deactivate the anchor and put things back the way they were, I presume.” The creature said. “He doubtless thought me gone to Asgard with the rest of my brood, busy conquering and claiming more energy for us, more power. A bright one, isn’t he, il mio piccolo tesoro?” The voice sounded fond, almost as Steve realized she was talking about Tony, with an Italian accent and Italian pet names, to boot.

“Of course, he’s not the only one with tricks up his sleeve. I came back myself, masking my presence so that he would send you here, not knowing that I remained to guard the anchor.” The thing smiled, “Anthony will soon notice not all is right with his plan and come to check on you, so let us talk, the two of us, while we yet have time, no?” So saying, the thing withdrew the tentacle from his cheek.

Steve tested his legs but found them still unresponsive, “What are you?”

The thing tilted its head, almost violently reminding Steve of Tony, “I am the mother.”

Steve twitched, “You, you’re the one who makes these things, who killed everyone?”

The face frowned, “No, child, not at all. My kind came to this planet and feasted on yours for many years before I came to be. The swarm knew, though, that we had to change. We ended this place, these humans, and in so doing, we feasted. But the rest, the others, those of Asgard and other worlds, were more than the swarm, alone, could handle. It was almost our undoing. But then I came, and when I call, my children listen, and when I lead, my children conquer.”

_Steve!_

The thing’s eyes lit up, as if it could hear the voice in Steve’s head, the voice Steve had missed so much. “Ah, he calls to you, now!”

“He? Tony? That’s Tony?” Steve asked.

The face frowned, “Did you not know? I suppose Anthony wouldn’t tell you, no. The two of you are bonded, you see? Just as you and yours changed us, so did I and ours change you. You were touched by the life in us, that which snuffs out the life in others, which helps us feed, as was mio piccolo tesoro and as were the rest of your friends. But in you two, it changed you. It made a fable of your kind into truth. Me and mine come from a place of energy. Your kind calls them souls, but for us, it is mind. All our minds are linked, our souls are one, and the life within us links us. It linked you, too, you know. That is why he feels you, and you him. That is why he remained, all these many long years, to stand watch over you and wait for you.”

He and Tony were linked? And what was this the thing was prattling on about “life within”? Could it be referring to the virus? Tony had said he gained an immunity to it, but that it had taken a while. Could something in him have changed before the serum fought it off? Was that why he was able to see Tony? All Steve had was more questions, and even then, Steve wasn’t sure he could trust anything this creature told him.

Steve shook his head, “No, Tony came back the same time I did, a ghost.” Even as the words left his lips they felt wrong somehow.

The thing’s laughter was light and beautiful. “Of course, when he spoke to you and told you he had just awoke, you believed. Yet, did you not question when he told you of us? Did you not question when he led you here? Was it not his voice you heard in your mind, all those times, when your mind turned to darker thoughts?”

“That is enough out of you!” Tony said, appearing between him and the creature.

Suddenly, it was as if Steve could breathe again. He backed away from the thing, looking around for the entrance to the lab that housed the portal device.

Steve expected the creature to rear up, to attack him or Tony, to flail and rage, but instead, it looked happy, almost rapturous, as it gazed at Tony, “Oh sweet child. Have you come back to mother at last?”

Tony’s face clouded over, “I don’t care what you make yourself look like, or what language you learn, you are _not_ my mother.”

 _Steve, you need to hurry. Find the portal device while I distract her! I won’t be able to keep her from you for long_.

Steve shuddered. The creature had been right, then. It had been Tony’s voice he had been hearing this past month. What else had it been right about?

“I saw everything in that dream, child,” the creature said, addressing Steve now. “While you dreamt of a life with Peggy Carter, I saw that ciccino had been playing you for a fool. He knew everything that I have told you, but kept it from you. He has spent these many long years by turn serving as your guard, by turn drifting hither and thither. He was so in love with you, Steven, that he kept you from me. Me, the only other being who could see him, hear him, talk with him. How often, do you think, Steve, he came to me, when the loneliness grew too much? When you were lost in sleep and dark and cold, and he was trapped in the world of the waking?”

 _I’m sorry, Steve._ Steve turned to look at Tony’s face. And it did look like Tony was sorry. He looked into those eyes and saw the loneliness that had plagued Tony every day before Steve had woken up. He saw how much Tony had just wanted to be with him, without all the baggage of those years. Steve saw how much Tony had wanted to just forget it. But beyond even that, Steve could feel the solid core of _love_ that Tony had for Steve. Love that had let Tony sit outside his cryo tube for months or years a time, just watching him.

“I can show you that dream again, Steven.” The thing’s voice was soft and sweet, “I can give you eternity with him. Everything you’ve wanted. Your friends, your family, they will all be there with you. All you have to do, Steven, is lay down your burdens.” The thing got up, “All you have to do, Steven, is rest. Don’t you deserve some rest?”

 _Steve!_ Tony’s voice shot through Steve’s mind. Steve leapt up from the floor, not entirely sure when he had lain down. _She doesn’t want to kill you, Steve. You have to find the machine, Steve. I won’t be able to stop her forever._

Why, Steve thought, didn’t she want to kill him?

“Dear Steven,” the thing’s voice floated after him, and he ran down another hallway, desperately searching for the portal machine, “Anthony is bound to this plane only through you. Without you, he would dissipate, disappear as the rest of your friends have. What sort of mother would I be if I let such a thing happen to my genietto? No, Anthony must stay here, with me. And you must sleep, Steve. Be a good boy, and listen.”

 _Steve, hurry!_ Tony’s voice sounded weaker. Steve noticed that, despite the thing’s honeyed words, none of it had affected him, as they had last time when he had almost been put to sleep. Steve saw a small sign poking through the roof of the tunnel, and ducked into the corridor it was pointing to, desperate to finish this before the thing finally made its way through Tony, and whatever it was Tony was doing to keep him safe.

There was a hissing buzz, like a burst pipe spewing water over hundreds of angry bees, “Why do you fight me, amore mio? You know you cannot win. You may keep me here, for a time, but I will find your _Captain_. When he sleeps once more, we can be together, at last.”

Steve rammed into a large overarching door, made of the same chitin as the rest of the alien doors he had encountered so far. As he did so he heard an unearthly scream and the scuttling of angry insectoid feet. Steve pulled his fist back and punched it, leaving a dent in the door. He punched it twice more, causing the door to buckle inwards, before he heard a sound behind him. He turned, expecting to find that horrible but beautiful face staring back at him. Instead, lit by the sickly green of the eggs in the hallway, was a monster. Its body was the same, but its face had changed back to what was probably normal for all Tenebrae. Its four lambent yellow eyes were in the same spot, but now, rather than fair skin, they were surrounded by light purple chitin, darkening towards the center. Now, instead of hair, the thing had some sort of bulbous veiny protrusion coming out of its head surrounded by tufts of bristly yellow hair.

Tony appeared between him and the creature as it lunged for him. Tony held a palm outwards and the creature shuddered to a stop. The two of them seemed to be engaged in a contest of will, but Steve wasn’t about to wait for Tony to beat the thing. He pulled his fist back and, with one more giant punch, broke the door to the lab. There, completely untouched by the spread of the Tenebrae’s influence, was the portal device, standing tall in the center of the room. Behind it was a giant gaping black hole that crackled around the edges. And, resting beside the portal device, rested a familiar circle of red, white and blue.

Steve dove towards his shield, scooping it up as he rolled to his feet, a roar of anger so loud it caused the room to shake coming from the hallway. Steve pulled his arm back, ready to toss the shield and end it.

 _I love you_. And suddenly, that spot in his mind where the voice came from, where Tony’s voice came from, the same spot, Steve realized now, that had let him feel Tony when they were traveling through the wastes, was silent.

Tony was gone.

With a cry that could only be described as mournful, the creature dragged itself into the room, rearing up on its legs for one last jump towards Steve. Steve let the shield fly, even as the creature made a dive, not towards him, but to protect the device.

It was a second too slow.

The shield connected with the fragile machinery, sheering it clean in half. The portal wavered for a moment before winking out of existence, a huge explosion sending him flying backwards. Then, all Steve knew was black.

* * *

 

Steve was floating. Or, at least, he thought he was. When he opened his eyes, nothing was really different from when they were closed, just more unending black. Steve wondered, idly, if he was going to die here, in some between place, the same place those things had come from.

And then he saw something. It was a small speck of black moving against black, almost impossible for him to distinguish. Slowly, the speck grew larger. Steve couldn’t tell how long it took, but eventually, standing before him was a thing in black that looked vaguely human, even if Steve couldn’t make out any of its features through the almost all encompassing robe it wore.

It tilted its head and waved a hand and Steve was falling again.

* * *

 

“Captain, are you alright? I'm getting weird readings from your room.”

Steve jolted up from his bed. “FRIDAY?” Steve asked, his voice hoarse and craggy.

“That's me. Is everything alright? Do you need me to get Dr. Banner?” FRIDAY sounded uncharacteristically worried.

Steve shook his head, knowing that FRIDAY would see him. “Is everyone here?” Steve asked, instead.

“Everyone's in the kitchen for breakfast, except for Boss. Boss is in his workshop.” FRIDAY said. The careful neutrality with which FRIDAY declared Tony to be in his workshop told Steve volumes about how much the Artificial Intelligence wished it were otherwise.

“Thanks, FRIDAY." Steve said, climbing out of bed. He was dressed in the plain shirt and shorts he usually wore to bed, not the ragged T-Shirt and yoga pants he had scrounged up in post-apocalyptic New York. Steve saw his shield, resting in the corner, shiny and well-polished.

Steve left his room and headed to the elevator. “The Kitchen?” FRIDAY asked, once he was inside.

“Workshop,” was all Steve said.

FRIDAY said nothing, merely activating the elevator after a short pause. Moments later, Steve was stepping out of the elevator, his bare feet meeting with cold but well maintained concrete. All the walls looked fine, nothing was overgrown or dilapidated. Steve walked over to the glass doors of the workshop, and put his code in so they retreated into the walls to let him pass.

“Well, this is ridiculous!” Steve stopped, watching as Tony argued with his bots, “This is, just, no. FRIDAY, would you please tell Dummy he is relegated to the corner until further notice? And, oh no you don’t, Dummy, get back here, no hiding behind…Steve?”

Tony got up from his work bench and ambled over to Steve. Steve had barely noticed the robot hiding behind him, too focused on the way he could actually see Tony’s eyes, Tony’s skin, Tony’s hair and not stare through them to whatever laid past him.

Tony’s brow scrunched up, “Everything alright, Cap?”

Steve didn’t respond.

“Steve?” Tony asked, a note of real concern entering his voice.

Steve pulled Tony’s face towards his and kissed him.

He was home.

**Author's Note:**

> Warning for Potential Depression Triggers. There are a lot of scenes where Steve is stuck with thoughts of his past and how he could have done better, and his mood trends towards depression in multiple instances.  
> Also Warning for Character Death, but I fix it.


End file.
